tis the season for netflix

joe comes home tomorrow!
only i'm not going to be able to pick him up from the airport due to the fact that i promised i'd work the bar tomorrow night. i'm betting it will be dead again. quitting time is just around the corner...

joe did call me last week to tell me that he was finally back from mojave viper training and that he came back to 29 palms to snow! snow in the desert! i suggested he gather his fellow marines for snow angel and snow man making...or perhaps sledding using some random piece of armor from a tank or something...he felt he would rather he stay warm and finally get some real* food.
*(the only "real" food in 29 palms comes from one of three places: mcdonnalds, dennys, and the new and exciting applebees. so sad.)

he also wanted to tell me that while he was in the field, a complication with our ac/dc tickets arose, but i think we'll be able to avert it. i still think our biggest obstacle will be the weather. i'm trying to tell sam he should fly to chicago so he can drive to cleveland with us for this concert. he's probably pretty tempted.

i went to the ballet with sarah last night. i love the nutcracker. it was so beautiful. i wish our seats were closer to the stage so i could see the detail in all the costumes better. i'm also pretty sure it would be really awesome to tell people that you were a real-life ballerina. if i marry a short dude, thereby giving any daughters i have a fighting chance at being slightly shorter than i, i'll make them take ballet lessons (damitz informed me many companies have height limits for lady ballerinas, how terrible). but with his short height, and my foot arches, i think i may be able to create one hell of a ballerina.

welp, only 23 more hours of work and then i'm off for two weeks.
considering doom metal fest tonight...but keeping an eye on the temperature outside.
dave and caleb, can i borrow some movies to watch with my brother?
oh, and porgy and bess was amazing (circa tuesday evening)

niceties

things i discovered/rediscovered are awesome recently:

zoo christmas lights, cider wine, gingerbread 3-D glasses, horrible movies with friends, sleeping in, re-connecting with people from the past, and hardcoremoshmoshmosh.

air hug!!

guess what i did last weekend...

"now, if you want to go right, you leaaaaan right, and if you want to go left, leaaaaan left! and thusie, keep your feet IN the sled...only i know how to put my feet out and help steer this thing"

-connor arista, age 5, self proclaimed sled steering master.

ps.

i am extremely disappointed that not one of you even acknowledged or expressed interest in seeing tracy morgan last week.

yes, seriously.

tuesday

after a late night of work last night, and letting me crash on her couch as usual, sonia made me breakfast, and is now working on a sweet sweet lunch for us.

not only are these meals delicious, but thoughtful, as she is avoiding recipes involving milk because according to her vast knowledge of everything interesting, milk is bad for sick people with an excess of mucus...which is me!

i like being taken care of when i'm sick.
sonia rules.

ps. sonia also washed my rat-trap bag of death from last night.
sonia rules really hard.

sonia!

hi, i'm brian fellows

okay, now i'm being serious here...
who wants to go see tracy morgan with me at zanies in vernon hills next friday or saturday?
i'm very serious.
seriously!

counting sheep

sometimes, i go through phases or have nights where i find it very hard to fall asleep.

but odds are, my reason (singular) for sleeplessness isn't one of the many reasons most would claim.

cleveland rocks!

january 5th!

IT'S ON!

thunderstruck

joe: "yea! muhfuckin ac/dc!!"

throw in a couple of "dudes" and this sums up our conversation, mostly.



i am so excited! joe and i are going to attempt to purchase tickets to ac/dc on january 5th in cleveland, oh. we will then attempt to borrow a car and pray that we don't get hit with a snow storm. we will also attempt to visit the rock and roll hall of fame and not go broke within these 24 hours of glorious glorious happenings.

road trip!

week-day road-trip

election day was particularly joyous for me, beginning of course, with getting in line at 5:30am to vote, then leaving my polling station to find the sun up in the clear sky and some exciting day-plans ahead of me.

[side note: hooray for daylight savings time! i've adjusted my work schedule accordingly as well. go morning-people!]

on my way to union station, i grabbed my free starbucks coffee and a newspaper, then settled in for a direct and sunny connection to my suburban stop. second breakfast with my mother and File, then we were on our way up to wisconsin to explore cave of the mounds!

caves are pretty sweet for those of you who haven't been:

but the cave aside, the real fun was found just hanging out with my mom and Filemon. we wandered into troll-town to find lunch, and was very disappointed with the lameness and lack of trolls so we brought our food back to the park to eat. following lunch, my mother and i had a hilarious game of leaf-catch to see who could catch the most leaves as they flew off the trees...tricky! [i won 6:1]. we hiked a trail (damn you karst trail!), climbed a huge felled tree, crossed a few bridges and took lots of pictures.
we detoured on our drive home to spend some time in the city of madison, but found no icecream shops, to our avail.

our drive home was spent listening to election coverage and we arrived home in time to watch the states change colors permanently in favor of blue!

other things of consequence:

my flick or treat team (first blood) won our halloween tournament. i won a spirited-mvp feather from some men in tights and accepted a proposal for marriage at taco bell.

jac is moving to orlando--total bummer. we're squeezing as many lunch and dinner dates in as we can before her departure in a month.

faculty luncheon with some particularly excellent uic employees.

introvert

how did i get stuck being part of a "lunch club?" this goes against every lunch i've ever had since high school where one would be terrified to eat without an army of 16 year old girls to buffer against, and oftentimes, exponentially increase teenage anxiety.

there's really only so much reality tv and soap opera gossip i can handle, and truthfully, i reached that capacity within the first 10 minutes it was first brought up a month and a half ago.

cliquey clique clique

deerhoof

oh man, i had forgotten how much i love live music shows.

yea!

i am...

...eight sugar packets in half a cup of coffee
...the peter pan restaurant in buckeystown
...a date on the 25th
...thunderstruck
...constantly enraged with my oven
...76 harry potters [edit: asking who will draw first blood???]
...a dinosaur in the field museum
...a text messager not a phone caller
...a backwards 23
...a very tight budget
...not canary island bound
...more than just one bang, ba dum ching!
...letting the void stand

flu season

i went to go get my free uic employee flu shot today.
instead, i got 1.5 flu shots for free!?!?!?!

flu shot one: the injection begins to burn into my arm, then uh oh, the shot apparatus broke or something and the remaining dead virus fluid exploded all over my arm.

--omit any explanation you think you might hear at this point because it didn't happen--

the nurse immediately launched into administering flu shot two: the full injection this time.

after, i casually turned to my nurse and said, "so, uh, two shots, huh?"
the response: "oh, not really, the first one didn't take fully. take a seat over there for 10 minutes so i make sure you don't have a reaction, okay bye."

hahahaha, wtf!?

also, i only got one bandaid over only one of the needle puncture marks resulting in tiny blood drops from the exposed one on my sweater. awesome.

thanks, uic!

fall interests

Fall is here.
and look, i've accomplished most of my end-of-summer goals.
time for some new fall-fun-interests.

-hockey games. any and all. although i intend to take my dad to a blackhawks game as he’s never been and i’ve only been once.
-porgy and bess and maybe madama butterfly or even the abduction from the seraglio, but that's spring.
-send more letters and cards to people because snail mail is the best.
-wear my cowboy boots in a non-halloween context.
-clarks and coffee with jessica which will hopefully come hand-in-hand with getting my car
-continue to search for and save up for aerosmith tickets. again, this relates directly to a daddy-daughter date.
-take an indoor fitness or dance class.
-at least one more grill-out.
-find the perfect pair of black boots.

in other news:

last night i wore a new dress and a pair of light brown leather slouchy boots with a 3 inch heel that used to be my mother's in the 70s. these boots were both the highlight of my evening and the bane of my feet and calves as they were terribly uncomfortable. at least they were gorgeous and kept my feet dry in the rain.
..........
i'm looking forward to gaining an automobile for freedom's sake. i've been without one for almost a year and yet it has felt like an eternity. i can't wait to be able to leave at a moment's notice without budgeting time, negotiating schedules, or rta-trip planning.
..........
there is a rumor circulating that my brother intends to come home halloween weekend. and by home, i mean northern illinois university where he plans to party with his friend dan. my parents haven't seen him in over 6 months. why is this only half-over.
..........
i may or may not decide to get a flu shot this year.

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if you love cats, free heat, awesome ladies (well, lady, singular), and have a desire to live by palmer square RIGHT NOW, give a holler because my friend jessica needs a new roommate asap.

familia

last night i drove out to the burbs to visit my dad.
amid the sox game, many topics were discussed:

we talked about pfc lenny and his death in relation to my pfc brother.
we talked about growing out of friendships and relationships.
we talked about the remnant of my black eye and how i should pick up racketball ("you know, your brother mentioned he started playing...")
we talked about the white sox and how they need to support their pitcher with some actual offense.
we talked about the "worst movie ever made" and how we can only watch stuff like that together with joe.
we talked about me inheriting his car this month and how i needed to bring my laptop out when i visit this weekend so we can order military geer and print more pictures of joe and me out for him.



i love this man.

you should see the other guy. no really!

i smashed my face this weekend.
on another girl's face.
we were both running full speed.
from two different directions.
at the same goal.
a frisbee, of course.

the crack heard round the world.
no really, people said on the next field over players stopped playing for a moment because they heard that horrible cracking sound of bone hitting bone.

the outcome:
me- black eye, swollen jaw joint, bruised cheek bone, tender face overall, painful jaw muscle
her- a trip to the hospital, a level 4 concussion, a split brow that needed 2 stitches, and i'm sure some bruising as well.

i iced my face for 45 minutes then played the rest of the weekend.

lesson learned: i am invincible.

(as requested):

broken ankles

this week flew by for me.
but it's been one drained of any meaningful sleep, unfortunately.

marincic asked tuesday night, after i came out and threw a disc for a couple hours at arrigo, if i had had a good day at work because i seemed happier than usual.

i think i definitely am happier than i've been in a long time.
and it has nothing to do with "looking to the future" or anticipating cool new things, because i've always done that and have always been certain of myself attaining all sorts of cool new goals and ideas. it's more about my now. it's a happy now.



also, i stuck it to the credit card company this week! i'm super proud of myself for handling that.
and today i think i'm going to write a letter to seinfeld complaining about rachel's and my treatment at the seinfeld campus tour yesterday. maybe i can get some cool swag out of this. either that or i need to learn how to photoshop.....

why would we want privacy?

i've been watching cass's "my so-called life" dvd series.

oh, 90's teen angst. i love this show.

some things we never outgrow i think.

you know, sometimes i think i'm a 32 year old woman trapped in a "looks younger than 23 year old body" who skipped most of her "act like an irresponsible teenager years." because of this, i think in some instances, my unresolved teenage immaturity leaks out into my adult life.

well, it can leak out, but in all honesty, it probably doesn't leak quite enough.





hmm...i really miss my cat

as close to new york as chicago can get

i was treated to a lovely lunch with colleagues of mine today on the dime of the university.
we went to tuscany where i ordered a coke as my drink.
the drinks arrived: a diet coke for him, a water with extra lemons and limes for her...a RUM AND COKE for me...ahh! what?!

susan: um, excuse me, I ordered just a coke. no rum.
waiter: yes, a RUM and coke. what you ordered! here!
susan: uhhh, no, you must have misheard, just a coke, please!
waiter: yes, here you go! RUM AND COKE for you!

i was horrified and embarrassed. here i am, out to a scholarly lunch with work colleagues who i hardly know, discussing topics and people i know nothing about, blatantly both the youngest and least experienced person by at least 6 years of education, not to mention years of age...and the waiter decides to announce (jokingly as we all realized 15 agonizing seconds later) that i ordered rum in my coke at my professional luncheon.

the waiter went on to attempt to take my plate half-way through the meal, refuse to let me box the remainder of the meal, offer to box the food and the plate together, and deny my professor's university credit card.
hilarious.



kinda like when i flew to california last week and on the morning flight out there i asked the flight attendant if she had any hot chocolate, and she somehow heard "alcohol" and started listing off the types of vodka they carried. all this at 8:30am while everyone else on the flight was drinking their apple and orange juices.



i am such an alcoholic.

dino-might

i'm starting to feel that familiar and always fleeting itch...that itch that typically will lead to a creation (or half-creation) of something on canvas using oil paint sticks.

i love how crude and unrefined oil paint sticks can be. they help me resist that always present, self-destructive urge to make things perfect. oh, and texture, yea!

i have a tendency to start and stop paintings multiple times over a span of years. since i paint for me, the urgency to complete a painting is diminished while my ability to aesthetically and casually judge a "finished" product becomes inherent and easier.

it's been my policy to never paint for someone other than myself. and i stand by this because agreeing to paint for someone else means taking on added pressure to create a painting that someone other than myself will find appealing. even when i paint something that adheres to my sense of taste and personal meaning, i've found it loses something important when transferred to another's possession. i think the only people i would be willing to paint for are my family because they HAVE to like it (similar to the "am i beautiful?" question) and at the very least, would love it based on the fact that it's a product/representation of their totally beautiful daughter, haha.


....and with all that said, i'll probably come home from work and decide i don't feel like painting!

[UPDATE: i went home and baked delicious pumpkin muffins instead]

you guys...

cass and i watched joe's apartment tonight.
and i made under-cooked meat for the second time in a row (dammit!)

some people posess the skill of reason

i think i like doing a pro/con list to keep folks updated on how i'm doing.
this way, even if i'm currently exuding an "in the dumps" attitude, both i and others can see all the ups in my life in relation to the downs, and generally figure out that no, i'm not REALLY all that sad. just sometimes.

so here we go again:

+purchasing tickets to california despite not being able to contact my brother
+hearing from joe hours before my flight, thus confirming all my hopes and dreams
+flying by myself to california
+finding my way to a beach and entertaining myself for a few hours

+getting some one-on-one time with sam
+my brother's hugging skills
+hearing future life plans/goals
+a commitment to quit smoking...eventually
+splitting rib dinners

+fannie packs and suspenders:

+malort reactions +++

+mall adventures & hunting cougars

+beach time, no sunburns, waves & frisbee
+hilarious bathing suit issues

+icecream & waffle day
+dinner with family
+sam
+joe +brothers
+new job
+biking to work
+jeans to work
+more to come, i'm sure


-sam not being jolly
-not enough time in california
-not enough time with joe
-saying goodbye
-saying goodbye
-saying goodbye
-saying goodbye....
-shittyshittyshitty person from my past
-missing having a boyfriend, or really, someone close to share things with
-this cough. totally disrupting.


it was quite a weekend.

for joe.

Look, he's crawling up my wall
Black and hairy, very small
Now he's up above my head
Hanging by a little thread

Boris the spider
Boris the spider

Now he's dropped on to the floor
Heading for the bedroom door
Maybe he's as scared as me
Where's he gone now, I can't see

Boris the spider
Boris the spider

Creepy, crawly Creepy, crawly
Creepy, creepy, crawly, crawly
Creepy, creepy, crawly, crawly
Creepy, creepy, crawly, crawly
Creepy, creepy, crawly, crawly

There he is wrapped in a ball
Doesn't seem to move at all
Perhaps he's dead, I'll just make sure
Pick this book up off the floor

Boris the spider
Boris the spider

Creepy, crawly Creepy, crawly
Creepy, creepy, crawly, crawly
Creepy, creepy, crawly, crawly
Creepy, creepy, crawly, crawly
Creepy, creepy, crawly, crawly

He's come to a sticky end
Don't think he will ever mend
Never more will he crawl 'round
He's embedded in the ground

Boris the spider
Boris the spider


.....................................

i'm currently participating in a massive debate:
me vs. that tiny part of my brain that is fiscally responsible.
the debatable question:
do i or don't i fly to california this weekend.

i need answers to other questions first!
answers to other questions!!!!


pins and needles pins and needles

cooler by the lake

the pros, the cons.

+moonlight mustaches
+2 person tents
+rootbeer on tap
+belated birthday shots
+sparkle motion: space dinosaurs
+9.8
+inside-out shorts with built-in undies
+jones soda hat
+mingle mingle mingle
+short-cuts
+zombie-offs
+on field impregnation
+kristen turner's jersey
+a ride home to my actual home

-losing gameS
-poor throw-decisions
-bug bites/itchy everything
-pile-up/suffocation

+/-
avril lavigne
tickle fighting


the pros outweigh the cons. success!

revelation #1

i spent most of my adolescent and young adult life criticizing my mother for being an intense "people pleaser." i would tell her people had no right to treat her the way they did, that she should speak up for herself and take a stand when she was in the right, and that you couldn't make everyone like you because most people are just through and through asshole.

as an example, we had a neighbor (townhouse neighbor, mind you) who would leave nasty notes on our door about my brothers playing too close to his "yard," thereby, trampling his grass with their baseballs. what? yea. anyway, this note rocked my mom's world and she spent a very anxious and stressful week deciding how to respond to it, rather than pelting his garage with baseballs as i proposed. haha.

but oh, guess what? it would appear i've turned into my mother. and i still feel to a large degree, that it is a rather big character flaw of both hers and mine (especially given the fact that my mother is the most good and sweet and friendly woman in the world who shouldn't have to degrade herself in order to please everyone).

now i find, in effect and to a ridiculous degree, that i continually put myself in other people's shoes and try to look at their side of every freaking hypothetical situation possible to explain their "bad behavior". good god, does this suck. i have regrets from doing this. painful memories and regrets. something i really thought i would or should never have if i lived my life in a proper fashion or rather, with a proper attitude.

this is also tied to why i tend to be hyper sensitive to criticism, whether i'm in the wrong or not, due to the fact that i always feel as if i try my damnest to please everyone. i have no defense to attacks on my character other than tears, and GOD do i hate crying in public. i actually think i went most of my life without publicly crying ever...the stigma was just too much for me. in fact, i used to be, publicly anyway, emotionally walled up; a stance on my complete independence as an individual and on my opinion that emotions were signs of weakness...but that's a whole other story.

i've turned into a people pleaser and can't stand to hurt or see other people suffer on my account. hell, i can't even watch movies where people are being unnecessary and realistic assholes to each other (there are, obviously, exceptions to this rule). and while much of this may seem like an admirable quality and can certainly be just that in many situations, it has also served to kick me in the ass more times than i'd like to remember, and left me feeling very used.

how did i get here?
definitely food for thought.

weekend warrior

i did this to myself, willingly, on saturday.

this is also similar to what my hip and knee look like currently.

frisbee!

-anyway, the summer league tourney ended up being fun, even though i was still battling the tail end of a nasty cold. i was awarded my team's spirit award (see above picture) and played rather well overall.

-i have come to the conclusion, however, that my throw needs some major re-tooling. i almost want to start over and re-learn a forehand, concentrating on improving my disc rotation and ultimately, gaining the ability to huck. if i can ever convince edward to hangout with me again, i'd like to ask his help with this. i at least have to be more appealing than his summer students at mckinnley park, no?

-anyway. been feeling lonely recently despite being surrounded by lots of friendly faces.

-i'm looking forward to camping at Cooler with kristen on saturday.

-wish i could take a road trip somewhere and have an adventure...

the butcher of bakersfield

if you haven't guessed from the title of the blog, i am currently watching The Running Man, one of my favorite Arnold Schwarzenegger movies.

looking back, during my "rebellious years," consisting of the majority of 7th grade (haha), i would express all my angst through dissing both Arnold Schwarzenegger and, gulp, yes, the chicago white sox. i picked these two glorious institutions as targets due to the fact that both my father and my brother adored them, and it gave me pleasure to ridicule whatever it was they found enjoyment in.

oh, regret! regret and repent.


anyway, The Running Man is the ONLY arnold movie i actually own. isn't that terrible? i thought at the very least i also owned True Lies. sigh, i need to spend more time rummaging in the $5 movie bins and build up a collection.


so here's to you ben richards.

and to you:
harry tasker,
jack slater,
john kimble,
john matrix....

maybe i can name my first born after one of you.

los esquinkles

my weekend was nice. i love seeing my mom.

the squinkes were a little irritating this weekend, but hanging out with them at the pool on sunday was tops. floaties and goggles and lots of:
"susie, watch this!" "thusie, watch this!" "susie, watch this!" "thusie, watch this!" "susie, watch this!" "thusie, watch this!" "susie, watch this!" "thusie, watch this!" "susie, watch this!" "thusie, watch this!" "susie, watch this!" "thusie, watch this!" "susie, watch this!" "thusie, watch this!" "susie, watch this!" "thusie, watch this!" "susie, watch this!" "thusie, watch this!" "susie, watch this!" "thusie, watch this!" "susie, watch this!" "thusie, watch this!" "susie, watch this!" "thusie, watch this!"
--too cute.


a story:
connor and i are watching tv together, specifically, america's funniest home videos (which, by the way, he will only laugh at IF after each video segment, i respond to this question in the affirmative: "was that funny?"
"yes."
"haha!"
anyway, a commercial for a new women's razor comes on, advertising "smooth legs!"
after it finishes connor turns to me and says, "thusie, you need that."
haha, what!? i respond by asking him if i did not already have smooth legs? (uh, come on, i shaved yesterday!)
he feels them (they ARE smooth, by the way) and he says, "no. not smooth. see, there's a bump."
the bump he is referring to is a bone in my foot.


anyway...

-i'm sick today. day 4 of sore throat. now i have sneezes and a runny nose.
-i had better steal a box of kleenex from work for frisbee today so i can avoid blowing my nose on the teeshirt i have to borrow, as is my habit.
-i had a phone interview today for a job i very much want. it went well.
-oh, and today i got an official name plate for my cubicle. somebody must like me.

business casual

1. i'm wearing a dress to work today.

it was a last second decision while i looked despairingly at my pile of "to-iron shirts" draped over my computer printer. i concluded that i had not the time to even match a "to-iron shirt" with an "also-draped-over-my-computer-printer-pants," resulting in the dress (which my 1/2 mile walk from the el to the office thanked me for because it's damn hot out today.)

i need to clean my room.

.........

2. the last two nights now, i've been experiencing a very strange sleep-pattern. i continually wake throughout the night to violently toss/turn myself the other way, twisting in my sheets, and throwing pillows, all the while, having weird vivid dreams that are uncomfortable, but not really scary or upsetting. it would seem that i don't sleep at all, but i'm still waking up before my alarm feeling like i got enough sleep. so odd!

i must be stressed out. i can think of a couple reasons why.

don't worry, they aren't big reasons.

summer interests

huh. it looks as though back in May, i was contemplating starting a blog, most likely under the influence of one of my blogging friends. i say this because apparently, i created an account in May, only i never posted to it.

so this is my first post.



but anyway, as promised in this blog's title...
(what's left of the summer anyway)



i want someone to go with me to:
1. navy pier fireworks.
2. sox games (DONE!)
3. kumas (DONE!)
4. a chicago fire game (DONE...or, close enough!)

also of interest to me this summer:
1. grilling porkchops lurking in my freezer (DONE!)
2. listening to boston and other bands that incorporate lots of electric organ and bass (DONE!)
3. seeing my brother (DOOOOONE!!!!)
4. securing a j-o-b (DONE!)
5. baking pretzles (DONE!)